CLASSIFIED. EYES ONLY

Personnel File: Daniels, Rupert

Age: 28
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 75kg
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Green
Born: March 15 1980

Education
BSc. Chemistry, Oxford University, graduated first with honours
MSc. Life Sciences, Edinburgh University

Bio.
After a promising early career as a research assistant at Edinburgh, Daniels took the position of Senior Librarian at Leeds. He seems to take little interest in his career, instead choosing to take posts that interest him at the time. With his background, this is not surprising. The second son of Richard Daniels, CEO of the international Vestal Group with interests in transport, entertainment and currently investing heavily in consumer space flight, he has had a privileged upbringing and has access to a valuable trust fund along with a carefully built portfolio of shares.

His formal studies have encompassed the sciences thus far but outside of this he has shown a formidable aptitude for languages and has often been seen to get a basic understanding from a new language after only a few hours study. He also has a keen interest in the study of ancient civilisations and despite the lack of formal study has written several historical papers that have been well received by his peers.

++++ INTERCEPTED IM TRANSCRIPT ++++
++++ APRIL 4 2008 23:27:43+++

LonelyLibrarian28: You’re never going to believe what happened to me last night!
MissBookworm: wot?
LonelyLibrarian28: Well, I was up at work as usual speaking to Ian in the zoology department when a team of people turned up calling themselves the CPI – Criminal Paranormal Investigations!
MissBookworm: omg!
LonelyLibrarian28: They were interested in this sample of fur that had been found at the site of those prostitute killings in Leeds
LonelyLibrarian28: It turns out that the fur wasn’t from any animal that has been seen before and Ian couldn’t say for certain what it could be
MissBookworm: probly a student, lots of love
LonelyLibrarian28: Probably.
LonelyLibrarian28: Anyway, Ian decides that he wants to go and set some snares up at the site of the killings to see if he can catch this creature, I think he had some delusions of discovering a new breed and naming it after himself!
LonelyLibrarian28: These CPI people are also headed that way and they insist on keeping an eye on us – they said for our protection but I’m not so sure.
MissBookworm: ****ing pigs
LonelyLibrarian28: Quite.
LonelyLibrarian28: So, I’m keeping an eye on the car when suddenly we’re trapped in the middle of some sort of gang war!
LonelyLibrarian28: This group of Chinese gangsters pulls up and start shooting at the local ‘pimp’. I mean, this is pretty terrifying stuff!
MissBookworm: What! omg!!1!
LonelyLibrarian28: So guns are firing everywhere, the pimp kills a man and then the CPI people start pulling weapons out and restraining people, I was even so bold as to try to prevent the escape of some of them, although I think if they had hit Ian’s car I would have had some explaining to do – you know what Ian’s like about his car.
MissBookworm: whos ian?
LonelyLibrarian28: Nevermind.
LonelyLibrarian28: So we end up at the police station and I’m waiting for my statement to be taken while the pimp, one of the Chinese gangsters and one of the working girls are questioned.
MissBookworm: so u got 2 no the prossy quite well I spose?
LonelyLibrarian28: Umm, no.
LonelyLibrarian28: The next thing I know is that an alarm is going off and the police station suddenly locks all the doors!
LonelyLibrarian28: There was some sort of disturbance in the holding area and everyone was locked in.
MissBookworm: wow!
LonelyLibrarian28: To cut a long story short I found myself behind the desk looking over all the security monitors when I catch sight of some great hairy creature attacking people!
LonelyLibrarian28: It was horrific.
MissBookworm: OMG!!!!1!!1
LonelyLibrarian28: There were some police officers still trying to subdue the beast but they were cornered near one of the entrances to the cells.
LonelyLibrarian28: I noticed an emergency fire door system that I was able to use to corner the creature but I had to lock the door with some of the police officers still… hang on, I’ve… got something in my eye, I’ll be back in a moment.
MissBookworm: u still there?
MissBookworm: R U OK?!?
MissBookworm: HELLO!!!1!! WHR R U?
LonelyLibrarian28: Sorry, I’m back now.
LonelyLibrarian28: So the CPI team ran around to the barred door that the creature was up against and they killed it. In cold blood they just shot it.
MissBookworm: *gasp*
LonelyLibrarian28: The strangest thing happened when it died though – the body on the floor wasn’t that of a wolf but that of the pimp from the estate.
MissBookworm: OMG! R U OK?
LonelyLibrarian28: Yes, I think I am. It was all strangely exciting, and at least now the monster isn’t still out there killing I suppose.
MissBookworm: wow –cool story
MissBookworm: so, wanna cyber?

++++ TRANSCRIPT ENDS +++
++++ APRIL 4 2008 23:36:54 ++++

....is funny!!!! PMSL!!

That information is classified - CPI are going to want to have a word with you about that conversation, Mr Daniels.

Tread carefully, now....

Oh my gods!

You know something, guys? There were a couple of terrified prostitutes in the back of the pimp's car (one badly burned by a molotov)....

And we just went back to the station and forgot about them.

Now I'm the one who's going to be having nightmares

That just shouldn't be funny, but then I can't understand why I'm laughing...

.....wondering why my socks are on the floor cos I'm laughing so much!! lots of love

Hehehehe - probably the same reason I laughed at Alastair torching some prostitutes in Grand Theft Auto - they're not real, it's ok...

Lizard Men to Invade the Surface of the Earth?

For many years, we have been aware of the presence of a race of lizard men living inside our hollow Earth controlling our world leaders and politicians but if recent reports from Dartmoor are anything to go by it would appear that the lizard men have tired of their interior lifestyle and have begun the invasion!

Witnesses state seeing a large lizard-like creature roaming the moors and reports of cattle mutilation indicate that recent attacks have been much more vicious than usual.

Government agents from the secret CPI department are rumoured to have been seen in the area questioning witnesses and investigating the new laboratory that has been recently constructed. Dr Fulbert, the man in charge of the new facility, holds a doctorate in paleobiology and would appear to be working with the lizard men to ensure their health as they begin to explore their new world.

This leads this reporter to come to the inescapable conlusion that the new laboratory is nothing more than a front to cover the new elevator that has been constructed by the lizard men to facilitate their ascent to the surface and more insidously their ascent to pwer over mankind.

In other news:
Wombat 'rape victim' finds TV fame
Smoking tortoise
Crucifixion not good for your health

"Strange... " thinks Erica, "I didn't see any second rate, delusional journalists hanging around while we were doing our investigations..."

Boris 'Beastie' Beaston rides in.....

SITREP.

WHILE COMPLETING DETAIL GUARDING CAVE MOUTH. UNKNOWN HELICOPTOR APPROACHED. COLLEAGUES GASED. HELICOPTER DROPED OF FIVE MEN DRESSED IN BRITISH MILITARY FATIGUES. APPEAR TO BE UNDER THE DIRECTION OF WOMAN DRESSED IN BLACK. DC BEASTON AND DC COOPER FLEE THE SCENE IN OPS VAN. PERSUED INITIALLY BY SOME SORT OF CYBORG DINOSAUR. DRIVEN OFF WITH GUNFIRE.

MESSAGE ENDS.

"Feck. I mean what the.....

......flippin' Coventry was going on! Bleedin Nora!!



Ok. So finally got the panhead runnin'. Good old gurl - she'll run for ever. Hope they, whoever they are, haven't found where I hid her. Got lumbered with guarding one of the entry points into the cave system under the moors with a jarhead and a bunch of woodentops! The others had entered the system some 5 miles away and were having all the fun.......or so I thought!!

All of a sudden......whoooosh......some stealth chopper comes swooping down with a bunch of freakin heavies on zip lines....and a bloody great big dino-droid thing. AND they gas the 'tops!!! Fair play to squaddie-boy he got me mask on and played tail gunner whilst I drove it like I stole it outta there!!!

Godzilla couldn't keep up once I got the rubber on some tarmac but not before it put some lead into the control vehicle (which incidentally I gotta find a way to keep - its got some way cool gadgets in it and the pan' would fit inside'n'all!)!

Co-located with Team Bravo now having managed to get jarhead (what is his name anyway - must ask him sometime) to press the right buttons to transmit everything we were seeing back to control. Let them figure it out!

Gotta tell ya.....this is WEIRD!!!

Beastie OUT"

I didn't really understand this one, Salmon sent us up to Scotland because it was snowing or something, sounds like normal to me but he's the boss.

We arrived in the midst of a heavy snowstorm with the helicopter blades further reducnig visability, as we descended closer to the ground 3 shapes began moving out of the gloom one of which was carrying a severed leg. Even I know that good guys dont carry around severed legs with them but before I could do anything Erika had let rip with the .50 cal and hit one of the shadows in the snow. Hit but didnt take down, didnt even leave a bloody hole in it. New plan, I took aim, not at the shadows but at the aviation fuel drums behind them.

Now that was a big explosion, it didnt stop the shadows advancing on the helicopter though as they moved out of the gloom it became clear that these werent people (explaining the distinct lack of blood/dismemberment when hit by the .50 cal) but were infact snowmen. I didnt remember Salmon mentioning these.

The team disembarked and immediatly set to work on the snowmen dispatching them without too much difficulty.

A quick search of the area revealed the owner of the leg who turned out to not be very helpful when questioned, even when I promised to giveher leg back. We eventually bundled her onto the chopper and Beasite departed for the hospital.

We were greated by a local poilceman who spoke in Scots, fortuatly one of us speaks fluent Scots so this was not an issue once everything was passed through our translator. The constable quickly drove us through the quiet streets to the local Fishery where the latest victim of an attack was, maybe this is what Salmon sent us here for?

After loads of booooorrrrriiiiinnnnnnggggg chatter we eventually left to look at the crime scene to see fi we could find any sign of the creature that did this, I didnt really catch the description that was given but Rupert did and he drew some crazy picture of some kind of massive furry sharp pointed cretre. Looked good if a little outlandish.

Initially at the crime scene there wasnt much to look out, its hard to see white creatures against a white background. That is until they appear less than 3 feet from you. The one thing I did notice about the wall of fur infront of me is that it wasnt that scarey, not half as scary as Ruperts picture anyway, I guess he used alot of artistic liceice. The creature may have been big but after a month and a half of training I was big too, big enough to take down this giant teddybear anyway, we squared up to each other....

BLACKNESS...................................................

It has been several months since we were interrupted in our investigation of the dinosaurs on Dartmoor by the spooks and since then we have all been busy in our own personal projects. I have spent a great deal of time in the CPI library studying the arcane arts. Despite my interest I never really believed that magic would work until I got caught up with this organisation but I feel that only now is my true purpose being revealed!

I'm not entirely sure what the other members of the team have been up to, I know that Farmer and Beastie have been making one Coventry of a racket in the workshop and Cooper never seems to be without something he can lift and I don't think even he knows how many "reps" he's doing on a daily basis. Still it seems to be paying off though.

Anyway, we recently received a call relating to some strange weather in Scotland. I checked the live meteorological data on the helicopter ride up there and realised that it was certainly strange and remarkably localised. We also had reports of a murder in a local fish factory. As we approached the landing field somebody spotted something strange in the snow below us. Several shots were fired before we realised that our assailants were first of all carrying a human leg, and secondly were far from human themselves being made entirely from snow!

They proved to be little impediment to us though, especially once Cooper took it upon himself to ignite six barrels of aviation fuel directly behind them. I think words must be had with that man sometime.

In an effort to locate the owner of the disembodied leg I decided to attempt a technique that I have so far only read about. Focusing on the leg and the intrinsic link it has with it's former owner I was able to view the victim remotely. Looking at her surroundings it appears that she was local as she was bathed in the same type of lights that were on in the area. Several of the team entered the building to locate the woman and soon medical assistance was being called for. I ran into the building and while Ed had just managed to patch her up I decided that since the magic seemed to be working so well I would try something else and draw upon the arcane arts to restore health to the young lady. She was brought around by the healing that I was able to apply and immediately began screaming about the snowmen and her leg. We couldn't get anything useful out of he so we bundled her into the chopper and sent Beastie off to deliver her to the hospital.

It was about now that the local constabulary turned up to take us to the fish factory and the site of the murder. I think the less said about Ed's patronising attempts to "speak the local language", the better!

We examined the scene and it was grisly to say the least. Witnesses reported seeing a huge white monster in the area and the night watchman was able to give us a description of the beast which I sketched out for everybody else to see. I commandeered an office to carry out some research into yeti myths and also local murders matching the modus operandi of this one in case there was any pattern to be seen. In the meantime the rest of the team went outside to look for further clues. Shortly my radio squawked into life and I was informed that the beast had been spotted and had engaged the team in combat. Grabbing my stun gun I began running outside, once I had closed into close range with the beast I harnessed the power of the stun gun and amplified it causing a bolt of lightning to scream from my fingertips and earth itself on the beast. It howled in rage and turned to leave. The creature moved so quickly that we were unable to follow and I noticed that Cooper and Ed were down and injured. We decided to regroup and attempt to track the beast in the morning as we were in no fit state to follow it immediately.

Once the morning came I felt refreshed, I hadn't realised how drained I was the night before until then. I decided that an attempt to use magic to track the beast was worth a try and so using part of the beast's body I attempted more sympathetic magic similar to that written about in voudoun ceremonies. In an effort to get an image of where the beast currently resided I received nothing but a strange swirly sensation. This is very hard to describe to somebody who hasn't experienced this kind of paranormal power before. All I could tell was that while the beast was close, it wasn't part of this world and I wasn't able to find it this way.

However, before much longer we had reports that the beast had been spotted at the Moray house. We left immediately and I made sure to grab Farmer's lighter from him as I had my suspicions it would come in handy.

Once at the house we saw the beast beating on the wall in an obvious attempt to gain entry. Immediately, shots were fired and Farmer took his exoskeleton close to the fence and seemed to be deciding whether to climb it, leap it or just rip it out of the ground! Drawing on my experiences of yesterday I drew energy from the lighter in front of me, amplified it and focused it and unleashed a torrent of fire against the creature. It seemed to cause the creature some discomfort and it began to run around the other side of the building. I still had my sample of fur from the crime scene yesterday so I focused myself to complete the same spell again while using the fur as a conduit. With a roar we saw a gout of flame from behind the building and the creature went silent.

We gained entry to the garden and secured the corpse for Blanket to retrieve. I look forward to studying this as soon as we get back to London as I feel a lot could be learned from a creature that originates in a different plane of existence.

We entered the house and, despite the lack of warrant, made some interesting discoveries in the basement. It appeared that the daughters of the local fish factory owner had decided to use magic to improve business but the spells had backfired on them causing the unnatural local weather effects and also the summoning of the beast. After some legal wrangling we had the girls arrested and I was able to secure a book entitled the Santanomicon and I look forward to studying this also once I get the time.